Post 5. Love and Marriage

Love is so often tossed around as something that falls off trees. Marriage is done without real commitment and fairytale aspirations. Think about it, how many times have you said you loved something without really giving it thought if you really do or how many people have said they loved someone, yet took that person for granted, cheated on them or abused them. At least one person that you know is guilty of this, although they may not admit it. See love is a lot like war, there always casualties and it holds no prisoners. There are only victims. Most of the time we are mended and repaired but, never the same. Still there are those of us who dare to love again, with hope and passion as if we have never been hurt before and then this love turns to marriage. 

The biggest misconception of marriage is that life is over, the old ball and chain. Most guys see it as a necessary evil and women see it as the fairytale ending. How much different could these views be? Funny isn't it!? The one thing I see more and more these days is the immediate divorce, the easy way out. Love is replaceable as is my spouse. This is sad. Marriage is not the end of a life but, a new life together. A better life, a true life, not a fairytale life. Both men and women too, see marriage as their freedom has been taken away. This is not true. If anything, you have more freedom! It's a freedom of not having to compete against another prospective mate, a freedom of knowing that you have someone to come home to, to make love with, take make memories with. It is surrendering to the risk of an unconditional love. A love without resentment, without judgement, without a wall or a back up plan of divorce. 

I have been married, I wanted it to be forever. Sadly, my ex fell into that category of I lost my freedom. So he reasserted himself in the worst way possible with extracurricular activities. But, that was ages ago, I forgave and let go. I moved on, as did he by remarrying. I am happy for him. I have not taken that step yet and although I know I'd like to again the thought scares me. Not because I won't put in the work to the union or that I won't love my future husband enough, it's being afraid that this man I choose to marry may not want to grow old with me years later when things hit the fan. That is what I want more than a fairytale ending or a fairytale wedding or a fairytale love....I want the honor and privilege of growing old with my future husband. In the words of Audrey Hepburn I have an insatiable need to feel loved but, an even bigger need to give love. I want the good, the bad and the ugly as long as it is with the man who wants the same. I really wish people would give more thought to love and marriage, knowing that it is not a battle....it is a once in a lifetime opportunity to really open up to the person you said you couldn't live without. I know that when I say yes to my future husband, he'll be the one I've waited for to walk the rest of this life together. I'll be sure in my heart that I would travel to hell to find him if I went to heaven and he didn't....this my friends is love and marriage.